5 Anger Management Tips
These anger management tips give you strategies to deal with your anger today.
Stress creates tension, and anger can discharge this excess tension.
But this relief is only brief and usually with costs to relationships, happiness, and business.
Looking back you may see plenty of times when you reacted and said and did things which you later regretted.
You probably resolved to change your ways until someone pressed your buttons again.
You could have expressed your anger by:
getting physically ill.
If you respond to anger in a way that is unacceptable to you, your family or colleagues, then these anger management techniques could be beneficial to you.
Anger Management tip #1: Monitor and understand your anger
Generally, anger consists of three steps:
First there will be an associated pain or stress that with the anger.
For example, you may have a headache, are running late, are stressed about a deadline at work, or be concerned about money. Here are some common warning signs of stress.
For anger to arise there first needs to be tension in the body.
Second, a provocative situation is likely to trigger this anger.
It may be that somebody cut you off on the road when you are running late or the kids are asking you for homework help while you are struggling to meet a deadline.
Third, there will be an associated trigger thought that arises in response to associated tension in the body and the provocative situation.
This trigger thought usually relates to our own needs not being met, such as "he thinks he owns the road, I'll teach him" or "why isn't Jack helping the kids, he knows I am busy. Doesn't he care that I miss the work deadline"
Anger Management Tip #2: Keep an anger management log
Draw up 4 columns on an A4 piece of paper.
In the first column put the stress or pain that you are feeling.
In the second, the provocative situation that is happening.
Put Your Anger into Perspective Most likely you will start to see things from a wider and calmer perspective.
Put Your Anger into PerspectiveWhen you are feeling under stress and starting to get angry, ask yourself the question "Will the object of my anger matter 5 years from now".
Most likely you will start to see things from a wider and calmer perspective.
In the third column put the trigger thought that is associated with the provocative situation.
In the fourth column put the behavior that resulted from feeling angry.
This tool helps you to understand what situations trigger your anger and the thoughts and pain that underlie this.
For example, a headache or relationship stress, or the frustration that you feel at work may cause your anger.
Or your anger may be the direct result of a provocative situation.
Whatever the cause of your anger it is important to identify the situation and the underlying thoughts and feelings that lead to this emotion.
Anger management tip #3. Learn to relax
How often have you heard others tell you to relax?
But rarely do they tell you how to relax!
By reducing physical tension in the body you can win half your battle with anger.
There are many ways to reduce physical tension. These can include relaxation and mindfulness skills such as:
Practicing these stress management tips reduce your tension and the chances that anger will be out of control.
Anger management tip #4. Take responsibility for your own feelings
Your trigger thoughts and feelings often are characterized by feeling helpless and out of control.
This means that the other person is taking control of the situation.
If you wait for the other person to change then this can lead to more anger and stress.
Take responsibility for your feelings of anger and resolve to change the way that you think, feel and act in response to the other person or provocative situation.
Anger management tip #5. Practice deep breathing exercises
When you find yourself in a provocative or angry situation have you ever noticed your breathing rate?
In all likelihood your breathing rate increases as you breathe rapidly from the chest.
Breathing from the stomach helps to relax you.
As you breathe deeply repeat the word "calm" or "relax"
Here are some quick tips for reducing stress which help to reduce the tension in your body when under stress or experiencing anger.
Whichever relaxation method your try it is best to practice your relaxation strategies.
Practicing relaxation techniques means that when you feel the anger rising you have trained the body to respond with more control and have a well-learned strategy that you can use.
Search here for more anger management techniques
Related stress management articles
Problem Solving Technique: Structured Problem Solving for Stress
Music and Stress: Relaxing Music for Stress Relief
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